Ch-ch-changes

I have reading glasses strategically placed throughout the house - kitchen, office, nightstand, living room and yes, even the bathroom. Plus a pair in my purse and an extra pair in the pencil drawer. I hafta have 'em.

Several years ago, I stumbled on a rack of sunglass readers at Steinmart in southern California, where we lived. Now this was a fantastic find. It meant I could drive the car and glance down at my cell phone directional map without excavating my reading glasses from my purse! Plus I could theoretically sit outside in the sun to read a book. Awesome!

But alas, my trusty sunglass readers began to come apart from constant use. The right lens fell out repeatedly. The screws kept coming out of the hinges. It was time for a new pair.

Here's the odd thing - people in Oregon don't seem to wear sunglass readers! We don't have Steinmart and I couldn't find any on the racks of sunglasses in Ross or Target or any of the other fine stores I frequent. Not being willing to pay more than $15 or $20 might have factored into my failure but I eventually resorted to a Google search for "sunglass readers."

Buying sunglasses over the internet is sort of like buying shoes that way. It's okay if you know the brand and how their sizes fit you. But it's a bit 'livin on the edge' for me. Then I actually found a pair that were pretty close in shape and style to my Old Faithfuls and they were only $19.99! Sold!

It was only after I printed the order confirmation that I saw the name of the company I had ordered from. It's called As We Change. They sell 'products for women in transition.' Slimming clothing. Comfort walking shoes. Hot flashes, incontinence and urinary products. Compression and support products. You get the idea. I laughed out loud!!

Does that cute girl above look like she's wearing Micromassager Sleeves or a Control Vest? I think not. Notice that they select models who are young and attractive with firm skin and real teeth to sell Slip-On Walkers and something called The Whiz (don't ask). And when I wear those sunglasses, I'm planning on looking just like that blond.

So... if - as a result of ordering from this company - I start getting a mailbox full of catalogs marketed toward elderly, decaying women, I'm going to put on my sunglass readers, sit outside not too far from the bathroom and pick out my favorite Dri-Release Caftan or Spring Facial Hair Remover. For the future of course.