Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Help to Walk

When you pray and ask God to increase your faith, give you more desire for Him or help you trust Him more, He will always answer that prayer.  I’ve often been afraid to ask Him to do those things because I think He will answer by giving me something hard (which exposes a lie I've believed about what God is like). 

But lately God has stunned me in the way He has answered me.

Hospital Equipment

My 92 year old father has long been needing to use a walker but has absolutely REFUSED to do it.  His personality has been what some might call oppositional and no one could tell him to do anything he didn’t want to do.  As his balance has worsened and his short-term memory declined, it has been obvious to our family that he really needed to move to an assisted living situation.  But he would have none of it.  I found myself on that balance beam of respecting his wishes and doing what’s best for him.  It’s a tough spot to be in and I have SO much empathy for lots of other folks who are right there too.

A few weeks ago he contracted a nasty UTI and ended up in the emergency room.  After four days in the hospital and then two weeks in rehab, we were absolutely sure he couldn’t return to his independent living apartment (or THE INSTITUTION, as he not-so-fondly refers to it).   I’ve laid awake wondering how we would ever tell him this news and could hear his protests loud and clear in my head.  LOUD and CLEAR.  Because I’ve heard them so many times over the last few years. 

My times in the Word every morning have been a little bit like sitting down next to Jesus and hearing Him talk to me specifically about all of this. 

Capture every rebellious thought and make it obey Me.  
2 Cor 10:5

If this were up to you, it would be impossible.  But with Me, everything is possible! 
Mt 19:26

Call to Me and I will answer and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know. 
Jer 33:3 

So I've been visiting lots of AL facilities, capturing many dread-filled thoughts, signing lots of paperwork, calling out to God, buying lift-chairs on Craigslist and asking for the impossible.

On Monday we moved Dad into an assisted living facility and he is completely content there.  He’s enjoying all the attention he gets and telling me what a nice walker he has now.   I keep pinching myself and asking Jeff, “Can you really believe this?”  Because this is nothing short of a miracle

It has been a very humbling reminder of how I tend to magnify ‘impossible’ circumstances and of how easily I choose defeat instead of faith.  Maybe you're like me and you need a reminder of what God is really like, of how impossible situations are His specialty and of His closeness to us when we need Him most.

Oh Lord, be the lifter of my head and help me fix my eyes on You, the One who can change hard hearts (mine) and surprise the doubtful!

Who knew?  I'm the one who really needed help walking.


Tilly said...

Becky, I can't tell you how timely this post is for me! I just moved my mom into a Care Center after living with us for the last 6 years. Prior to this she has always said she would never go to "one of those places". You are so right in saying it's a balance to honor their wishes and do what is best for them. My mom is in complete renal failure and was given the choice of 1-2 weeks if she didn't do dialysis, talking to her for 3 days about this decision really made me aware of God's presence because she chose dialysis and living in a Care Center willingly. Dialysis will only give her a little more time, which she said she needed to make sure all her unfinished business is taken care of. It has been a long journey, and I daily grab onto Jesus my walker, without Him in this situation I would have crumbled. It was a gift to me that she understood that I could no longer take care of her in our home. What a blessing for your dad to find contentment in his new situation and what a huge answer to prayer for you!

BeckyB said...

I'm right there with you. We are definitely in that 'sandwich' time, aren't we? I remember you telling me about your mom living with you and so I know you've walked a tough road. I'm glad we can share the feelings and be an encouragement to each other. Love you Nat!

Nancy Espinoza said...

A Miracle is right! I tend to expect the same reaction, decision, outcome that has always come before in certain situations and never imagine the miracle God had in mind. We are stubborn children sometimes, needing that reminder the He is a loving father always there to take our hand and walk the road with us. I am so happy for you to experience such a change in your dad. Love, Nancy

BeckyB said...

Stubborn indeed! I know you have witnessed God's miracle touch in your family in lots of ways...
Love you too!

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