Dear Grammy…

Thanks for coming up to see us this last weekend! 
We missed Papa though.  What’s in Africa that could possibly be better than us?

You said Mama and Daddy went out on something called a date.  They don’t ever do that - which makes sense because why would they ever want to leave us? 

We loved being with Auntie Mimi too!

You seemed to be really glad she was there too.  You used to take care of three little girls so I’m sure we must be a piece of cake to take care of, right?  Right??

I liked riding in your car…

even though you don’t have any snacks in there.

And Costco with Grammy is fun!  I haven’t figured out yet that you can actually take home all the stuff in there so I was happy to hold Minnie Mouse…

play the piano…

And ride the horse…

But why did you make me get off?  I did NOT want to get off.  Why did you stop taking pictures, Grammy?

So Grammy, when are Mama and Daddy going on a date again? 

A cure for Dread

I'd say that for me, DREAD is the most common way fear shows up in my life.

I wrote the post below a few years ago but as I'm slowly making my way through 1 John, I thought about it again this morning in a new light.  Here's my original post and then some thoughts from this morning:

                                    ___________________________________________

dread:  to fear greatly; to be in extreme apprehension; to be reluctant to do, meet or experience; terror or apprehension as to something in the future

I heard someone mention this word not long ago and it’s made me take a look at how much influence dread has in my life.  I think I've underestimated its power.

Dread can be outright terror about doing something.  It's a paralyzing fear of something awful happening.  But it can also be a nagging apprehension about the ‘what ifs’ in life – the kind of below-the-surface feeling that prevents us from sleep or from stepping out in faith.  In other words, dread can cripple us. 

Dread is a lie straight from the master-liar.  Imagining what might happen is not keeping our minds and hearts focused on Truth.  None of those ‘what ifs’ we come up with are really TRUE.  It’s what the bible calls ‘vain imagination’.  In fact, I don’t think it’s too strong to say that dread is sin. 

In Deuteronomy 1:29 God says, “Dread not, neither be afraid…”

Dread declares God to be unfaithful.  It’s saying (without coming right out and saying it), “God, You aren’t enough.  If ________ happened, I couldn’t handle it.  When I have to face _________, You won’t get me through it.”

What do you dread?  Your next mammogram?  Loss of a loved one?  An uncertain future?

We can lean into God’s strong arms when dread creeps in.  His presence, His nearness, His powerful control over all of our circumstances brings peace and trust.  (I’m speaking to myself here.)  Maybe you need a counselor like I do.

Lord, forgive me for rehearsing ‘what ifs’ and by doing that, declaring that You aren’t enough for me and my circumstances.    Your grace IS enough for whatever You have for me.  Remind me of Your promises.  Help me rehearse the Truth.

___________________________________________

I read this verse today:

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.  1 John 4:18

"Perfect love" drives out fear and its evil stepsister, dread.  But HOW?  And what in the world is "perfect love?"

This idea of love that is perfected or completed is all throughout 1 John.

Perfect love is living out God's love for me by loving others, completely depending on his Spirit in me to actually do it!  

It's the weirdest solution to fear, don't you think?  How would loving others deal with my fear and dread?

Fear shifts all our focus onto ourselves and how whatever we're fearing will affect us.  It makes worry, anxiety and dread boss us around.

Loving others with Christ's love gets me out of myself, my perspective, my small world of me.   Actually trusting in God's ability to work His love through me is incredibly powerful in setting me free from fear and dread because I experience His life flowing through me.  It doesn't take long to realize that I have a huge God living in me.  And fear is destroyed in the process because which of the things I dread can possibly compare to His love?

Something for me to think more about for sure...

Links I liked

Fakebook
@facebook.com
Facebook’s not real, y’all.

11 frugal ways to prepare for an emergency
@clarkhoward.com
Do you have an emergency stash?  I don’t but I’m thinking about it seriously.  I’m actually hoping that Jesus returns before this is necessary but if He doesn’t, this makes good sense.

Dear Me
@The Honey Pot
Dear 16 year old me…

Hummingbird webcam
@allaboutbirds.org
Assuming you don’t have anything better to do, watch some hummers!

Why some 13-year-olds check social media 100 times a day
@cnn.com
When 200+ eighth graders allow their social media feeds to be studied by child development specialists, the results are both telling and frightening.  "To know what each other are doing, where they stand, to know how many people like what they posted, to know how many people followed them today and unfollowed them ... that I think is highly addictive."

About Not Waiting Till Marriage: What No One Tells Kids & What I Wish Someone Had Told Me
@aholyexperience
There’s a story I know about that, that’s likely never going to be told. You don’t need to know the self-hating, shaming pain of that story – just that your father is a very caring man who knows that the soul of a woman needs to feel a deep safeness before you ever touch the skin of a woman.

What’s up?

A bullet list, that’s what!

• October in Oregon is magnificent!  Take-your-breath-away magnificent.  Taking a walk brings lots of scripture to mind… “For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes--His eternal power and divine nature--have been clearly seen, because they are understood through what has been made.”  Romans 1:20  Don’t you love that God even helps us know Him better on a walk?
  
  
  
  
• But all is not beautiful in the NW… We have millions of these creatures filling the air outside.  The ash whitefly (I googled it).  So I think these help remind of the mysterious parts of God’s plan that I’d like to ask Him about when we have a chat in heaven.  Why??
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• My daughter texted me this pic from the grocery store.  Hadley is such a good mommy – unashamed, really.  The caption could read, “If they start crying in the store, you gotta do what you gotta do.”
  
  
• I completely let my imagination run away with itself tonight… the neighbor’s dog was barking outside for hours (not typical) and I hadn’t seen any activity over there for a couple of days.  After calling and texting and ringing the doorbell, I decided there had been a terrible tragedy (pictured it in detail, actually) so I went to our other neighbor’s and asked him if he had seen anyone around in the last few days.  He hadn’t but had noticed the dog barking all day.  So since Jeff wasn’t home I asked him if he would come with me to go in the house (I have a key).  He was nervous about going in someone’s house uninvited but I assured him that I often took their mail in and fed the dog.  We rang the bell.  Nothing.  With a shaky hand, I unlocked the door, ready to face a pile of dead bodies.  “Hello?”  And that’s when the son came around the corner with a startled look on his face.  Ooops.  I apologized profusely for coming into his house uninvited but explained my completely rational reasons.  A few minutes later his mom called me saying she’d been in a meeting all day and was just now getting my texts and voicemails.  The moral of this story:  follow your gut and be better safe than sorry.  My neighbor agrees, thankfully!
  
  
• I’m going to get caught up on Downton Abbey – I completely missed season 5.  When last I watched, Mrs. Hughes and Carson were wading in the ocean holding hands…
   
  
• My hair is driving me crazy.  Flat.  Falling forward. Maybe I need a whole new look?

No, too much work.

Definitely time to get off this rabbit trail of bullet points and ridiculousness.  Happy October!

On my nightstand

The reason I share ‘what’s on my nightstand’ every now and then is because of how much I love getting good book recommendations – it’s as simple as that.  Do I always enjoy the same books my friends or other bloggers do?  No but there are usually one or two I find that way and it’s worth starting a few that don’t appeal to me to find that one I can’t put down.  Because I’m a library girl, I can check out a whole stack of books and maybe only end up reading a couple of them all the way through – and it doesn’t cost me anything!

I do like to read reviews to get an idea what the book might be like before I reserve them at the library but sometimes I know I like an author or it’s one I’ve been waiting for a long time… like this first one on my stack today:

Come Rain or Come Shine by Jan Karon
The latest in the Mitford Novel series just came out this month.  It’s a wedding!
(Don’t start with this one… be sure to read the whole series!)

The Wright Brothers by David McCullough
I learned a lot about something I knew nothing about. 
Where was my head during history class?

Nobody’s Cuter Than You by Melanie Shankle
I’ve read Mel’s blog for years and didn’t want to miss her latest book.  Not as good (for me) as her previous books on parenting and marriage but full of her characteristic humor!

Go Set A Watchman by Harper Lee
This is the much-anticipated and much-maligned sequel to “To Kill A Mockingbird.”  I’d like to sit in on a book club discussion of this one.  I just don't know what to say about it.

For The Love by Jen Hatmaker
I thought the premise of the book was really good – giving grace.  I’m not sure how all the chapters fit under that topic and my outline-oriented self found it was confusing.  The chapter on church was really good and the chapter on what tweets would be back in the 70’s was funny.

Life and Death in Shanghai by Nien Cheng
This Chinese woman was put under house arrest in 1966 at the beginning of the Cultural Revolution and ended up spending years in prison under incredibly difficult circumstances after being falsely charged as a spy.  Again, because I somehow failed to retain one iota of information I read in my history classes, I learned so much about communism and socialism through her experience, as well as what impact the cultural revolution had on that enormous country.  Very good.

The other vitamin C

Happy International Coffee Day!

Did you know you can get a free cup today at Dunkin’ Donuts, Peet’s, Krispy Kreme (+ free glazed donut!) and a few others that I’m not familiar with (Wawa and Sheetz Bros. aren’t in the NW where I live).

My love of coffee began when I was in high school.  I took one of those tiny school buses to a student aide position at an elementary school several days a week and the bus driver was a coffee drinker. The wonderful smell of her coffee filled that little bus and made me wish I liked it.  She told me she drank only 'good' coffee (I can't imagine what that was back in a time when MJB and Folgers were pretty much the norm).

I wanted to be just like her, holding a hot mug of coffee with long painted fingernails.  Well, not just like her... I didn't want to imitate her excessive make-up or jewelry but those were requirements for every female who drove a bus, right?  That and a loud-voiced, take-charge personality.

I started out like most people do, I'd guess... with lots of milk and sugar.  Somewhere along the way I cut out the sugar and have had my coffee au lait ever since.  Then Starbucks came along, capitalized on our obsession with caffeine and coffee became the expected ingredient in our meetings, business appointments, social gatherings and get-to-know-yous.  Now we have an International Coffee Day.  Who knew?

Make a coffee date with someone you haven’t seen in a while.  Maybe they need your listening ear or encouraging words.  Or just a good laugh together over a cuppa Joe. 

A joyful heart is good medicine… and coffee is a wonderful way to enjoy it!

SMPD

I know.

It’s inching close to two months since I’ve written anything on here.  And while I’ve been tempted to just insert about 327 links to other people’s blog posts that I know you would love, I decided to explain what I’m going through.  Get yourself a Kleenex, okay?

Listen, I am suffering from SMPD – social media phobia disorder.  This is a condition where you start questioning why you would EVER post anything online.  It’s obvious that other folks are clever and funny and creative but you are not so what do you even think you are doing with a blog?  Or a Facebook page?  You worry about not ‘liking’ or commenting on all of your friends’ posts because you can’t possibly spend the time necessary to respond on everyone’s page so you decide not to click ‘like’ on anyone’s page.  You resort to being a stalker.  Until, in a weak moment, you ‘like’ someone's photo.  Because you are so self-focused you're sure that all the folks whose pics you haven’t ‘liked’ feel slighted.

I haven’t met anyone else with SMPD but if there’s a group I would feel so much relief.  If I’m going to live in 2015 I’ve got to get a grip.  You think I am joking but this is real, people.

Thus, I have been absent from the blog.  I really thought of calling it quits.  But the thing is, I really do enjoy it.  So, for now anyway, I am hanging in there with Have A Cup and we’ll see what happens.

We had all three of our girls home this summer, though not all at the same time unfortunately. 

  
We celebrated Miss Hadley’s birthday…

and got some baby time too!

We’ve weathered the hottest summer in Oregon ever.  I think the only thing that equipped me to handle it were my years in Palm Springs.  The lawn is dry as dust but the flowers are thriving and the tomatoes are sweet!

And now, it is officially pumpkin candle/soup/football/sweater season, even though the thermometer says otherwise.  If you’re looking for a wonderfully scented pumpkin candle that doesn’t cost $12, look no further than your local Walsmart.  That 'easy peel' label means it can almost look like a premium brand!



Thanks so much for stopping by the blog today.  If you too suffer from SMPD, let me know and I’ll meet you for a cup of coffee.  We need to stick together.