Blessed Rotten

Today was quintessential October in Oregon... blue sky, cold air, trees ablaze with color.  We watched the Dribbling Dragons win on the soccer field, had lunch with my dad and shopped with our youngest who needed clothes for rugby practice (can you say scrum or crash tackle?).

So we came home this afternoon and on the front porch is a BIG box. 

What did I order?  Nothing.

Whose birthday is it?  No one's.

So for no apparent reason, except that she is so thoughtful and loving, a mystery friend sent me this big box full of gorgeous fall goodness:

Candles and mugs, glisten-y pumpkins and salt & peppers...

Pumpkin butter, pumpkin soup mix and a pumpkin candle...

Do you see PaulaDeen's grin?  You should smell the candle!

I won't mention any names but it starts with H*llie and she's from the desert in California and she knows how much I love fall and sent me a box full!  For no reason!!  How does someone who just had baby #3 not long ago find the time or energy to be so thoughtful? 

BTW, there are an awful lot of Girlfriends in PS who keep having babies and changing their family structure.  How am I supposed to keep up?  I have you frozen in time with your little ones at a certain age and you keep changing your family dynamics!  Actually, in my mind, most of you aren't married yet or are at least without kids and you're coming over to my house for incredible potluck dinners, bible study and great sharing.  I miss you!!

I am blessed rotten for sure!

And to top it off...

Look at these three who are spending the night tonight!

(sorry for the blurry picture)

Twelve hours later...

I work from home.  I love working from home.

I am actually doing much better at not coming to work in my pajamas!   Aren't you relieved?

But for a while now, I've known that I need more room. 

My office is located in my old bedroom in my parents' house. 

Close your eyes right now and picture yourself going to work in the bedroom you had growing up.  Go ahead - don't be afraid.  Mentally remove the rock 'n roll posters on the wall and the stuffed animals on your bed.  Now add some modern technology and an office chair... There you have it - my home office!

My dad made a built-in desk for me when I was in the third grade.  So when we moved into this house, it was the logical place to put an office.  Except that back in the day, when computers took up entire rooms, no one except Bill Gates ever imagined people would have computers in their homes.  So there was no such thing as a desk with places to thread cords, store computer towers or connect printers.  

Here is a grainy snapshot of my original little workspace:

Did you notice the authentic mid-century shelving?  Did you ever have that kind - with the metal brackets?  I used to put my statue horses on those shelves.

As you can see, I didn't have a lot of desktop space.  So we started looking for an L-shaped desk - but it had to be a really good price.  Craigslist had quite a few but they were either way too expensive or pretty icky.  I was hoping for a dark wood finish.  Then my husband (whose spiritual gift rare talent is finding good deals on great stuff) found a desk at one of the office stores where, when we applied a coupon and picked it up in the store, we spent less than $200.  Score!

However, if you don't like things like this:

then this kind of deal is not for you.  (I have to admit that I kind of like this sort of thing - I KNOW).  The instructions for assembling this desk are really most accurately described as a book.  But this book gave incredibly detailed and accurate steps which were very easy to follow.  It just took a long time! 

We persevered.  We handed each other things.  We bit our tongues so as not to bite each other.  We wore reading glasses so we were certain we didn't use part Q1 when we were supposed to use S7.  We took coffee breaks, lunch breaks, dinner breaks.  We helped each other up.  We watched a desk take shape from a box of rubble.

If you are a connoisseur of fine furniture, this desk is not for you.  Ethan Allen it is not.  But for me?  I just love it!  It's very sturdy, gives me all the room I need and I totally love how it looks.  We added a lateral file cabinet (another slash-reduced find of Jeff's) and I'm all set!

Stop by sometime and Have A Cup With Me!!

Not really all about Fall

Dollar Store Wreath

@House of Hepworths

I love that it's so simple.

Look what a little paint can do

@Right At Home

A-mazing! I used to have that oak entertainment center.

Butterfinger Owl Pops

@Confessions of a Cookbook Queen

Candy corn and peanut butter?  What?

A great new blog I found...

My First Kitchen

Hairable

A hilarious walk down hair-memory lane

@It's Almost Naptime

Gingersnaps

@Fly Through My Window

I made these for our beach trip - good!

Who Me?

The one reason I didn't ever want to consider missions or even teaching abroad was because I was afraid God would ask me to go to Africa. I don't like things outside of my comfort zone.

Africa - specifically Ethiopia - was waaaaaaay outside the zone. I have a problem with claustrophobia and I'm a terrible eater when it comes to strange foods.  I admit it - I have issues.  I immediately wondered if this could possibly have anything to do with learning about how much God loved me. Oh yes it did.

I was already working for Adoption Ministry of Youth With A Mission Ethiopia but I had agreed to work on the website, create a blog, do paper work, talk with families on the phone... not to do anything crazy like actually go to Ethiopia.  But Joy (our ministry director) wanted me to go, the board paid for my ticket and my dear friend Liane was going too. It was clearly what God had in mind for me.

So my husband dropped me at LAX where I was going to fly to Washington DC and meet up with Joy and Liane and we'd continue on to Ethiopia. Then I got a call from Liane saying they had missed their flight and that I should just go ahead and go and that they'd meet me in Ethiopia - 2 days later. (There are only a few flights per week to Addis Ababa on this airline.)

Meet me in Ethiopia? Are you kidding me? Did they know this is a third world country?  Did they forget who they were dealing with here? 

(You'll notice that I'm using my large font option here for emphasis, in case you can't tell that going to Ethiopia was a teensy bit uncomfortable for me.)

Yes, Abebe would meet me at the airport and everything would be fine.  So I spent the five hours from L.A. to D.C. in unceasing prayer.  I was very spiritual.  (That's what happens to you when you face an impossible thing.) 

I'm sure I looked like someone with a serious mental health issue -no color in my skin, hands covering my face, rocking back and forth. I could not believe this was happening. But as we descended into Dulles, after wrestling with God the whole way, I finally told Him "Okay, I'll do it. You are in charge, not me. But You have to be my Traveling Companion, Travel Agent, Concierge, Interpreter and in-country Host. And please help me not throw up."

As it turned out, our flight was late and I missed the connection to Ethiopia so Joy and Liane met me there and we had two days in Washington D.C. during the peak of cherry blossom time, courtesy of United Airlines.

It was a gift. And so obviously God saying, "I love you Becky!" He would have given me whatever I needed if I'd gone on to Africa that day. But whether I went or not, He did want me to know whether or not I would trust Him.

Do you ever tell God, "Please don't ever ask me to _______"?

I'm finding that if you're praying (or even thinking) one of those prayers, while at the same time asking Him to help you know Him more, He just might use what you thought you could never do to get the other prayer answered.  That's not how I would do it but then, what do I know?

Ethiopia is a very hard place.  Millions of people are homeless, living on the streets and sleeping on a scrap of tarp or under a piece of corrugated tin.  There is no way to prepare for what you see there.  For how it smells.  For all the children wandering in the city. 

I know I was not prepared.  But the other thing I found and didn't expect was the strong faith of so many of the people I met.  They are full of joy, trusting every day that God will provide for them and serving Him in some extremely difficult circumstances. 

Abebe is our representative in Ethiopia.  He is one of the most gracious, hard-working and kind men I've ever met.  This man loves Christ with all his heart.  He also loves children and I've seen him cry more than once over a child who has no family.  He strokes their face, hugs them and treats them as I've seen him treat his own children.  He has also helped bring the Gospel to a remote village where persecution of Christians is very real.  Over 108 families have come to Christ, partly because this man has committed himself to live out what the bible says.

The love and hospitality of Ethiopia's people was very humbling to me.  Homes in Addis Ababa are not too cozy or full of pumpkin bread smells...

We went to the homes of many women who were struggling to feed their children.  Yet they insisted on serving us.

I have never felt so unworthy of someone's giving.  Never.

I know this was a long post.  I know that sharing a few pictures doesn't really convey what I experienced.  I've looked at many pictures like these that others have shared and completely missed the feelings associated with them.  You have to be there. 

But I wanted to share them because I want to encourage you not to wait as long as I did to say 'yes' to God.  It probably will look very different than my experience.  But I can tell you that there is nothing in the world like cooperating with God and taking a step of faith.  He makes it WORTH IT. 

Pumpkin Bread

This is, by far, the best recipe I've found for pumpkin bread.  It's moist, has just the right amount of pumpkin and it's not too sweet.  (But I'm not going to lie - it's not low cal.)

PUMPKIN BREAD
Printable recipe here
(makes 2 loaves)

8 oz. cream cheese, room temp
½ cup butter or margarine, room temp 
2 ½ cups sugar
4 eggs
1 (15 oz.) can of pumpkin
3 ½ cups flour
2 tsp baking soda
½ tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
1 tsp cinnamon
½ tsp cloves
1 cup chopped walnuts

Cream butter and cream cheese in mixer.  Add sugar and beat until fluffy.  Add eggs one at a time until mixed in well.  Add pumpkin and mix well, scraping sides of mixing bowl.  Combine dry ingredients and add slowly to wet mixture.  Add nuts last and mix in well.  Pour batter into 2 well-greased loaf pans.  Bake at 350° for 65 minutes until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.  Cool 10 minutes.  Remove from pan onto wire rack and cool completely. 

What's your favorite fall recipe?

Beach Getaway

We just got back from a rare time away with all five of us.

It was AWESOME!

We went to Manzanita, the beach in Oregon where our family has vacationed for over 25 years.  Jeff and I spent part of our honeymoon there!


We played frisbee, walked on the beach, ate, shopped, watched movies, played cards and games and laughed.  A lot.


Here is my Family Vacation Slideshow.  Thank you for watching!

A Pharisee Revealed - Final (but not the Last) Chapter

Chapter 3 - Humble Yourself or Be Humbled

As I grew in my knowledge of the bible, I started to notice a big gap between what I knew in my head and what I was really experiencing of God's love for me.  I began to pray "Lord, help me know Your love for me.  I want to be more like You." 

I wasn't praying, "Lord, deal with my pride" but God knew that this issue - this self-righteousness and judgmental attitude - had to go.  I'm very aware that God could easily have called me out for my sin - let it all be shown on a jumbo screen in some public forum.  I could have been exposed like Hamen was in the book of Esther.  But God didn't do that with me.

The first thing that happened after I began praying that prayer in earnest was I had to go to Africa.  (more on that in another post)  I saw up close what poverty and hunger and abandonment and hopelessness are.  I met Christians who are living their faith in very difficult circumstances yet they radiate Christ's joy and peace.  I have so much - but I deserve none of it any more than these beautiful people do.  I could not imagine what I could possibly feel self-righteous about.  It humbled me. 

Then God directed us to leave southern California and Jeff's job as a pastor there and move to Oregon, near our parents and where our girls are attending school and living.  We are not the impulsive, 'oh-well-I'm-sure-everything-will-work-out' kind of people.  We're planners and we don't throw around the phrase "God told me to..." lightly.  But we KNEW this was God so we packed up and moved, pretty confident that God would provide another job for Jeff in a short time.  That was almost 2 years ago.   It is humbling to be unemployed!  We're not worried and we don't doubt at all that we are right where we're supposed to be.  But it is humbling for sure.

We're living in my dad's house.  That's humbling.

I've worked several temp jobs that were, well, humbling.

We are waiting on God.  Waiting is humbling.

Do you sense a theme here? 

God is so amazing. If we tell Him we want to be more like Him, He will do whatever it takes to get us there. That's not a prayer for sissies. It's much like praying for patience. Or for more faith. You'd better be ready to discover - through experience - just how impatient or untrusting you are. 

In my case, there is a lot of pride to deal with.  It's everywhere in me.  And I am sick of it.  It's cost me precious time of enjoying closeness with God because it's separated me from Him in ways I'm just now realizing.  It's pretty hard to receive love from God if I'm living like I don't need Him - just crying out for help now and then when I can't figure things out on my own.  It kills me that I've done that.  But I have.

I am asking God to be brutal with me - to point out every instance of pride and help me admit it for what it is.  Apply the truth to myself.  Become an expert at recognizing my own sin, not anyone else's.  Look for ways to take the humble route not the one that's most comfortable.  I've asked Him to help me be immediately aware when I start to judge another (this habit becomes second nature) and I've pictured myself literally shoving God off His throne of judgment and climbing up onto His seat to try to take His place.  That is a horrible thought but it is what I'm doing when I harbor critical thoughts.

I have really appreciated John Fischer's book 12 Steps for the Recovering Pharisee (like me).  I love his subtitle:  Finding Grace to Live Unmasked. 

I have a long ways to go but I am already experiencing a freedom and a sense of God's love that is better than anything. 

I'll end what is really the beginning of my story with this quote from Fischer...

"If our witness is to show people how much we need Jesus, then our witness will of necessity have in it the components of our failures, our worries, our inadequacies, our mistakes and our sins.  If we didn't have these things, we wouldn't need Jesus...  Perfect people have no witness.  They have nothing to give anyone.  You can only give what you have received."

God, I need Your love and Your grace and Your forgiveness so I can give those same things away.  Thank You for a love that overcomes my selfish pride.

This is the one I esteem: he who is humble and contrite

in spirit and trembles at My word. 

Isaiah 66:2